"I came, I saur, I conquered"

Caesar would be proud.

Image credit: "Meet Bruce" of the Canadian Fossil Discovery Centre

Ok, I can't take credit for that brilliant pun. It came from Punpedia's entry on Dinosaur puns, and, oh my goodness, I don't know what's more delightful: The fact that Punpedia exists or the fact that there's an entry on dinosaurs. Tee-hee!

Please forgive that little detour.

One of the first photos my partner sent me upon his arrival in Morden was of a group of Ukrainians in front of what appeared to be a giant... turtle. He then sent me the accompanying article about said turtle, and, I must say, this was the funniest thing I'd ever seen until I realized that this guy wasn't the only one (at which point it became both less and more amusing).

In fact, there are three life-size dinosaur replicas in Morden, which feeeeeels like two too many. However, once you learn that their purpose is to "see the museum expand into the public space" (Peter Cantelon, Executive Director of the Canadian Fossil Discovery Centre / CFDC), it all begins to make sense.

What a lovely idea, especially in an area that was once home to these giants.

Readers, you may be surprised to hear that the turtle was my first initiation into Morden's miniature Jurassic Park, so I will list the creatures in their order of appearance in my life—that is, not by size, not alphabetically, and not in any logical historical order.

"Archie"

Image credit: Pembina Valley Online, "Planned Predatory Fish Statue Scaling Up Tourism in Morden"

Archie is imposing, not least of all because he's floating somehow above you, mid-swim—or mid-dive—straight into your head. And imposing is right! The Achelon Turtle was "the largest turtle to ever exist."

This sculpture is 4.5-metres wide and took Morden's resident dino-artist, Adolfo Cuetara, 3 months to build.

Torontonians, this is not the made-up job of a fossil-obsessed city; I believe it falls under the category of "paleo-artist." Someone, please correct me if needed. I'm not being fair to Toronto, though. The Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) has held an incredible dinosaur exhibit for several years, T-Rexes and all, and paleontology is, of course, popular all over Canada.

"Bruce"

Image credit: Pembina Valley Online, "Planned Predatory Fish Statue Scaling Up Tourism in Morden"

"Bruce" is a 43-foot-long sea monster—a mosasaur—and "the largest on public display in the world."

As if that weren't enough, in 2016, Morden unveiled a life-size, full-colour replica.

So, while the "real" Bruce is underground at the CFDC, his slightly more attractive (i.e., non-skeletal) twin is gracing the Morden sign, for added visibility.

It's an odd way to welcome visitors (come in, we're overrun by dinosaurs; try not to get eaten!), but I can see the value. Several mosasaur fossils have been unearthed in the area, and Bruce appears to have been the most significant.

Aside: Between my partner and I (and perhaps other East European–Mordenites), Bruce is affectionately referred to as Brusik. We can probably add Brusechka, especially on the occasion that he's dressed in winter gear (see below).

"Blue Fish"

First of all, does this guy not have a name(*)? May I suggest Jimmy Blue, for the purposes of this report?

This 4-metre-long fish, a xiphactinus, "swam the Western Interior Seaway around 80–90 million years ago" and, with extensive, sharp teeth, "would even prey on small mosasaurs" (save yourself, Brusik! Although, on second thought, you are not of the "small" variety).

This blue hulk appears quite suddenly somewhere behind Morden's love seat, which is how I first discovered him: mid-canoodle.

- What... is that large blue thing floating there in the grass?

- Oh you'll love it; come put your head in his mouth!

[Insert one weirded-out Torontonian.]

One of the most eventful moments in Jimmy Blue's (modern) existence was being decked out in a Santa hat and scarf by "Sasha Oleksandra" (who posted on Facebook under her own moniker, so I have no qualms about reproducing it here).

Look how handsome....! But it looks like poor Jimmy was a bit blind there, for a moment.

Maybe it gave mini-Brusik a chance to escape.

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*Update: I've been reliably informed by a long-term Mordenite that Jimmy Blue's name is actually "Xooey" (see here). Thanks for the correction!